We love hard. But we fight harder. It’s been a difficult road lately. We got heated and said things to one another that probably shouldn’t have been said. She needed understanding and time. I gave her neither. She needed compassion and I was flat out.
She didn’t need to hear that my spoons were all full. She needed to feel safe and I…I wanted that for her.
I should have said, I’m struggling too…but I’m here. I can’t speak on this right now, but I can hold your hand.
And even when we’re both at our most unlovable, I will be your anchor, your life support…your home.
I should have said, “I love you no matter what…” instead of whatever bone-headed thing that came out of my mouth. But I needed some air. So now I’m taking it to calm down before I go back so that when I give her my support, I give her the full picture that is me. I should have said I missed her. Anything but what I did say.
New love is hard…and we have a lot of room to go. I only want to be on this journey, with her.
Early morning, I was practicing one of my favorite Tori Kelly songs, “Where I Belong” from her debut album and while I was singing, baby sis snuck up behind me and joined in.
I had started singing the tail end, putting my own spin to the intonations, grooving as I sang, “You know I forget to breathe … sometimes. And I’m so afraid to fall behind…”
Pookie joined in right as I sang, “Why do I let the pressure take over ….” and I paused, listening to her go, truly entranced by the beauty of her voice. She continued singing, “…my miiiiiind. When I know the truth IS never wroooooo-oh-oh-oh-ong…” She inhaled and continues slowly and solemnly, “I’m alright… This is right where Iiiiiii belong…”
I did not know my little sister could sing like THAT! I just hushed and let her go, lip syncing while I strummed along.
So even though I didn’t accept my neighbor’s proposal to be my Egg Daddy, we still hang pretty tight! Today he helped me out at the Pier giving out balloons while I served up cotton candy.
When we were getting close to closing up for the day, we got hit with five little cuties! Well..I thought five? It looks like one got away. I wonder where he went? And where did these flying hamburgers come from? What the what?
I hope we find that kid…
Kilo
A special thank you to my guests: Ethyn Nova-Parnes, Molly Stakz, Maddie Setzer-Gavneda, Raevin Denver and Joseph D’Angelo Bloom!
Oh how I missed seeing my loved ones. But I have to be here. I have to protect our sear brethren. I will return to them again soon. But for now, this moment behind the glass will have to do.
Kilo
Necklace: Cynful Curve You High Bodysuit + Top – Fatpack (legacy)
before the item.
Class & Sass... 